I am a bad person.

So, today, after dinner, I went to the store with my mom. On the way out, I saw this hideous display of men's neckties. I mean... hideous. First of all, the small round table on which the ties were placed was in complete disarray. Someone had foraged through the ties, and no employee had bothered to reorganize them. As I contemplated exactly how much distress the clutter was causing me, I saw a tie that was particularly outstanding (and I don't mean 'outstanding' in the way that your 5th grade teacher means it when she writes it on your paper next to a foil star sticker). I took a picture with my phone as evidence of its... not-so-tasteful appearance:



The first thought that hit me was "wow, that's an ugly tie." It had slightly uneven stripes all over it (in shades of blue and green) and it honestly looked as if it'd been colored in with magic markers. I continued to frown disapprovingly and the following (slightly harsh) thought crossed my mind:

The only way this tie would ever be worth buying was if some poor cancer-stricken child had designed it and was selling it to raise money.

And then I saw the label.

hello.

I desire to blog, but I have neither the brainpower nor the content to do so. Just letting you know that I am still alive, kind of.

Also, I think the world as a whole is going to be much more productive for the next few hours... because Facebook is down. Yup, I just tried to log on, and I was presented with this message:

Your account is temporarily unavailable due to site maintenance. It should be available again within a few hours. We apologize for the inconvenience.

I wonder how many middle schoolers (and high schoolers and college students, actually) will be emotionally distraught when they return from school only to find that their beloved time-waster is down.

Oh well. Maybe in the next 3 hours, someone will discover the cure for the world's diseases.

Jessica is shaking her fist angrily.

I do not wish to preface this post other than by saying that the following is an email I just sent to Melody, plus bits and pieces of a conversation I had with Jerry. I am ornery.
---
Dear Melody,

I am currently sitting in Abnormal Psychology, and I feel like dying. We just spent 25 minutes going over Freud and then Humanism. And now he's talking about Behavioral Psychology and classical conditioning. Umm... newsflash? This is PS371. WHY are we doing intro stuff? Honestly, earlier in class, someone raised their hand and didn't know what the Oedipus Complex was. Excuse me, miss. If you don't know what the Oedipus Complex is, you should stand up, pack up your things, and walk over to PS101.

Seriously! This is the 5th lecture of the course and I cannot believe he's talking about Pavlov. Get awayyyy from me.

-jess
---

Jerry: the number and class name do not make me feel like it's an intro class

you should leave.

me: i'm sitting in the far back corner.

Jerry: or raise your hand and say, "when does the learning start"

me: if I was in the front row, I would definitely walk out. immediately.
---
me: i don't know why i'm so ornery.

I think it's because this is my last class... on a Friday.

Jerry: how many lectures have you had so far

that would do it.

me: umm, this is lecture #5.

Jerry: wow

that is a little ridiculous
---
me: no

he's talking about classical conditioning

Jerry:and this is from hs psych

hahaha

pavlov and his puppies

me: puppies.

i like them.

i'm writing a ranting email to melody.

because she enjoys my anger.

Jerry: haha

she's funny...

classical conditioning = showering to mozart
---
me:OMG. he just said, "we're now going to differentiate between reinforcement and punishment."

you are JOKING me.

[repeatedly slams head against wall].

Jerry: haha

add that.

especially the repeatedly slamming of the head.

---
Raaarrrr. The end.

for the sake of organization

I've long found the world to be too spontaneous, too chaotic, too disorganized for my liking. I can't tell if that's what made me type A, or if that feeling stemmed from me already being type A. As far back as I can remember, I've liked to put things in order. It doesn't matter what order-- alphabetical, numerical, color, size... they give me the same sense of calm.

Anyway, as I was sitting at the dining room table this evening, taking notes on my brand new textbook ("Psychology and the Legal System"), I whipped out a bag of gummy bears with the sole intention of keeping myself from going into hypoglycemic shock. What I found myself doing (instead of reading about therapeutic jurisprudence and the like) was, that's right, putting the bears into color order. After creating 2 rows of perfectly aligned greatness, I decided it was probably time to start consumption. As I was chatting it up with Melody, I happily popped the red and orange gummy bears (separately, of course) into my mouth. But when it came time for the next color, I realized...
me: i'm on yellow.

i HATE the yellow ones.

but order must be maintained.

So I ate it. Because that's the way the world is supposed to be. Orderly.

facebook statuses.

Melody and I were spending time tonight lamenting the rapid decline of our society.

Melody: I hate it when people post every detail of their lives on statuses or away msgs. It's so desperate.

me: lolll

Melody: nevertheless, i read them and criticize

me: im gonna change mine just because you said that

Melody: thanks a lot. I will change mine too. my first ever facebook status will be dedicated to you
me: I am deeply honored and appreciative.

The result?

Melody: <3 can you blog that

me: yes.

Melody: why are we so awesome? Jessica, really.

me: I don't even know. God made us that way.

Conversation Excerpt of the Day.

Sometimes, I have highlight conversations. Like, I have an exchange with someone that is so good or funny or dumb that I find myself thinking back to it over and over again and wanting to share it. Here is one such exchange that took place earlier in the day:

me: lol

omg

zhou laoshi

im scared.

Melody: <3

me: if i had boots, i'd be shaking in them.

Melody: send her my regards

hahahahah

me: because i like that phrase.

Melody: why can't you shake in your shoes

me: i'm wearing flipflops.

Melody: oh.

LOL

me: so considering i'm not really "in" them.

Melody: I love you.

Maybe I'll do this more often. I have a feeling most of the exchanges will be between Melody and I... but I know you don't mind that.