AB, O, JC.

Do you remember JC Chasez? Yeah, the man's still around. Albeit in his 30's now and not-so-hip anymore (see America's Best Dance Crew. bow tie and tight shirt? ewww?). His second album was supposed to be released in 2007, but then he split from his record company and is now apparently set to release a second solo album in 2008. He's already released 2 solo singles from the album, the first one being "Until Yesterday", which came out late 2006.

Now, imagine my excitement. I was eager for an older, wiser JC. I mean, after listening to his trashy songs from his '04 album, including "Blowin' Me Up (with Her Love)" and "Some Girls (Dance with Women)", I could hardly wait for something calmer, maybe even cheesier. "Until Yesterday" had the potential to be the key to his success.

I counted on him to deliver. And what does he do?

He pens these horrific lyrics:

I found a letter on my dresser last night/ I've got a baby on the way/ It made me suspicious of another guy 'cause/ You couldn't tell me to my face /And so I asked to find out if I was right/ That's when your eyes filled up with rage/ Nine months go by, the baby's not my blood type/ Look at the mess you've made

Wow, JC. I am appalled. This is like, the broadway musical remake of an episode of Maury. Gosh. And really? You're denying that the child is yours because... it doesn't have the same blood type as you? Newsflash: Babies don't have to have the same blood type as their parents! Hellooo?! Ever heard of alleles? Punnett squares?

OK, I'll cut him some slack. Maybe what he really means that his supposed offspring's blood type proves that it cannot possibly be JC's child. For example, if the baby is blood type O and JC is AB, then the baby's definitely not his. Or if he's O and the baby's AB.

"Nine months go by, the baby's blood type authenticates my suspicion that you've been unfaithful to me/"

Hm. I suppose that hasn't got quite the same ring to it.

profit.

Earlier on in the summer, I had the chance to eat lunch with a few friends at U-Burger in Kenmore Square. My delicious "Yuppie Burger" rang up to $4.99. I handed the cashier man a $10, and he gave me back my change of $5.01. Or, so I thought. As I stepped away from the counter, I looked down at what I held in my hand. A $5 bill, and...something that looked like a penny. Except it wasn't a penny. It was a 5-cent Euro coin!




Easily mistaken for a penny.

You know, 5 cents in Euros is worth 7.3 cents in US currency right now. I felt kind of bad. I almost wanted to alert the cashier of his mistake. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have cared, though. He probably would've thought me a bit crazy.

So I just kept it. And here I am, maybe a bit crazy, but 6 cents richer.

Scam.

There's an old lady who works in the office with me, and she thinks my given name is Jessy. She also calls spam (junk e-mail) "scam". Anyway, because Gmail is pretty much the greatest thing since sliced french bread, my account usually receives very little "scam" mail. In fact, when I do receive it, Gmail conveniently catches it and places it in my Spam folder. Then, all I have to do is click on that folder and hit "delete all". Before I do so, I usually skim the titles of the emails to make sure Google didn't mislabel a normal email as spam.

Today, Gmail told me that I had 1 message in my Spam folder. I went to it, and found an email in my inbox from someone named Elwood Holloway. The subject of the email? "Your narcotic Experts".

To be honest with you, I was kind of interested. How did the dealers find me?

I clicked on the email, my curiosity quelling my common sense.

Inside was this lone sentence, accompanied by a link to a website: "Save big on all your pills"

OK, seriously? If you want me to buy your drugs, you should spend more time and effort on your advertisements. Try cool fonts. Color pictures? A flash homepage?