blood cake.

Since I was a child, I have had an unnatural (and perhaps irrational) dislike of chocolate cake. I mean... yes, I'll eat it sometimes. But most of the time, if I look at a slice of chocolate cake for too long, it makes me shudder. Today, the reason why I don't savor this widely enjoyed dessert was finally unearthed. My dear friend made me a cupcake. A chocolatey, "red velvet" one. I was staring at it and, as I slowly entered a trance-like state, it hit me. It was Matilda's fault that I don't like chocolate cake!

Remember the movie Matilda? In it, there's a slightly overweight, plump child by the name of Bruce. The headmistress of the school catches him stealing a piece of chocolate cake and punishes him by forcing to eat an entire gigantic chocolate cake in front of the whole school. When Bruce politely refuses, Ms. Trunchbull (blech!) insists: "But you'll hurt Cook's feelings! She made this cake just for you, to have on your very own. Her sweat and blood went into this cake, and you will not leave the platform until you have consumed the entire confection!"

So, there you have it. I've figured it out. Since the time that I saw this movie (12 years ago), I've forged this strange connection between blood and chocolate cake in my mind. Thus my unusual aversion to this food...

One of the kids at the afterschool program I volunteer at pointed out to me today that the cake did not actually contain blood, that "sweat and blood" was meant only to be a metaphor for hard work. I beg to differ. That Ms. Trunchbull was evil, and I'll bet my lunch money that was something nasty in that cake.
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See the vileness for yourself: